Thursday 31 October 2013

Just Like A Phoenix

last monday I got hit by a car .. while I was crossing the street ..
I flew and broke the car's  front window and flew back to hit the ground...
that very moment when you are this close to death ... that moment of weakness when you know that no way to run away from this fate .. this the slowest part of second ever .. you feel like you are some part of movie scene . and you are just a watcher .. all you gotta do is to do your best to survive ..but there are this second when you believe it's all over and there nothing you can do anymore and you just surrender to your fate closing your eyes no panic no more fear or desire to fight... you just tell yourself lets rest in peace .. and  that very second is when you really die, or maybe you reborn again .. just like a phoenix through the flames ..



Tuesday 22 October 2013

The Crow and The Butterfly

Lost in thoughts like a paper without pen
Running in circles , closing in 
In the court with myself I begin 
Joy and sorrow all the contrasts within 

Never took the right choices
Always following my heart
Even if that meant 
Putting an end without start 

They always come back
When it's too late 
Imagining that I'm waiting
Serving forgiveness on golden plate

In my kingdom 
One chance is given to prove loyalty
But if you did not take it
Don't blame my sanity 

Hearing The Rasmus's track 
Saying Friends don't do like that
I close my eyes and shed a tear
Remembering a step in the back
They say a kindhearted 
But all I see inside is black
Once I walk away 
I never ever look back

In this circus 
Things will bring you down
But all you need to learn 
Not to be the clown 




Sunday 13 October 2013

Andromeda

A sweet whisper came along 
From a fairy who sang a silent song 
"To your shell you shall belong 

The first rule to begin 
No one should come in 
It's an awful unforgivable sin 

The second rule to be told 
When nothing's right or wrong 
The answers shall come along

The third rule to be said 
You shall forever stay mermaid 
But only he shall make the spell fade"

Here you are, comes my reply 
I never wanted to be mermaid 
I always wanted to fly 
And if there's something to be said
I always keep wondering why 

The second thing to be told 
My heart shall never belong 
But to the man who sold the world

The third thing to be said
No one but me shall make it fade
I'm here a warrior but waiting for blade 


In the dark I should stay 
Far from tomorrow and today 
Like stars in the Milky Way 
With the music sing and sway 


Wednesday 9 October 2013

Enigma

That girl, who always thought that the stars are running after them while she watched them through the window of the car.
That girl who used to turn around and around till her dress is lifted to the highest high possible. She is like a petal inside a flower.
She used and still putting the shell over her ear to hear the sea speech. 
Never liked to lift her hair in a pony tail, she always liked free like her spirit. 
She is not like the other girls; she speaks to the stars and makes friends with kids.
She always dreams to have wings and spread them and fly away, always wondered what it like is to walk over clouds. 
Who stand under the showers of the rain, letting it tickles her face and washes away the hidden sorrow. 
That girl who always keeps on building her castles above the clouds, no matter she ended hitting the ground. 
Over and over she tries to lower her expectations, but she can't. It's a part of what she is. 
She doesn't like to live upon anyone expectations or judgments, even if their intentions were good. Even if their judgement were about her being angelic and kind. 
She always keeps on seeking for things that she has no answer for , keep walking in the black hole , that dark tunnel of doubts and mystery . 
Her biggest fear is loss. She knows how it is since she lost her older brother before. 
She tries to keep distance between her and her beloved ones,  maybe she is afraid to feel the bitterness of loss again. 
She is always acting like herself not very well with masks, and despises lies. 
She dreams of one who asks her to slow dance with him, who admires her free soul, who brushes her hair with her hand and not afraid to take a walk with her under the rain. 
She does not like to be treated like a catch, she does not like men running after her like she is sort of hunt. She is a good runner though. Whenever she feels like she is one, she knows how to escape. 
She always thought of relationships should have a mutual respect and affection , caring and kind heart .Not one person running after another (male/female) or showing off his/her powers of attracting other sex.
She is messy and wants to organised person ,though she finds a life in that mess. 
She is not a morning person, though she'd love to be one. 
There are many things she does not like about herself and wants to change that. 
She likes to be accepted as she is. With all her mood swing (which, if she would give a name for these swings would be Tarzan).
She accepts diversity in people and she is stubborn enough to accept them without changing herself, if she changes she does it for herself not for others. 
She never changes unless her heart and mind agreed on that. 
Usually her heart leads; sometimes she is misunderstood or underestimated due to this. But she believes the path of heart always wins. 
She is random, in her thoughts and sometimes she surprises herself with sudden actions. 
She does not like to name things ... she doesn't believe that she is the center of the universe. But she dreams about finding the one and being his fantasy.  
She is very good at walking away. 
She will forgive you, she can't help it, but her selective memory will refuse but to remember. One day she'll just give up and walk away. 
She is not good with compliments and when she says one she means it. 
Sometimes, she thinks that she is like a riddle and she will never know what she wants. 
She does not like being around people, she adores the cafe smell but does not like its taste.  
She does not let people get closer easily.
Sometimes, she feels like she does not want anybody in at all. 
Sometimes she feels that she needs that one who breaks her fall. 
And sometimes she feels that she should build more walls. 



Wednesday 2 October 2013

Star Dust

Things come back
Things pass by
But I will do nothing
Till the end of July

Nothing goes right
All became wrong
I will say nothing
Till the end of the song

Some bring joy
Some bring sorrow
But I have nothing
To save for tomorrow

Some sees me an angel
Some other don't
But I aint angel nor demon
To humans I belong

From the deepest sorrow
Here comes the wisdom
In the land of grief
I built my kingdom

From the deepest sanity
Here comes the madness
Even in the paradise
There was darkness

I wonder if I shall survive
Or have wings to fly
But here I am still alive
And I keep wondering why!?